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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey

A man takes his wife to the county livestock show, and they head down the aisle that houses the bulls. The sign on the first stall states: THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR. The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50…

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office... but she belonged to someone else... One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." but…

A ten year old public school boy was finding fifth grade math to be the challenge of his life. Science? A piece of cake. Geography? No big deal. Spelling? Ha! Give me a break...but MATH? It was devastating! To not only him, but his mom…

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some…

1. I was so poor growing up. If I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with. 2. We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse. 3. Women like silent men, they think they're listening. 4. If winning isn't everything…

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she…

Four men went to play golf one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others,…

The person I heard this from ("Al" in the story) swears that it really happened. (And no, I'm not this "Mark" - you should be able to figure out why I chose those names. :) Two guys (we'll call them "Mark" and "Al") are out…

Number One Idiot: I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and…