Welcome to FMBV :)

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be…

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have…

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary 8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00pm Played in the yard!…

All in all, it hadn’t been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I’d last taken a…

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know…

Who said children are getting dumber every year? Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves: 1. TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That's impossible. STUDENT:…

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?” Einstein ponders for a…

One of the best quips of all time, this is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female reporter and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. ----------------------------------------------- FEMALE INTERVIEWER:…

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach…

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of…